Saturday, June 11, 2005

Endless Conquest!! By Mike

Since I'm bored, and brain has not functioning been well lately, I've decided to compile a list of my Favorite Villains of all time.

Note: Darth Vader will not be on this list because, after seeing Episode III, I've realized Darth Vader is not really a villain at all. he's actually a misunderstood whiner who got chopped up by his best friend.

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onto the list:

• the Nihilists from 'The Big Lebowski' - combine greed, red jumpsuits, threats of castration, a feisty marmot and a girlfriends' toe and I’d say those are some serious villains. also: German.

• that guy from 'Pray For Death' - i forget his name, but this mother is ruthless. He wanted that diamond necklace so bad he beat up the Black Ninja's wife. and her five year old son! And he snuck into the hospital to finish her off! Pray for death indeed.

• the gargantuan egg-laying Queen Alien from 'Aliens' - biggest, scariest puppet ever. This thing is a Jabberwocky from Hell.

• Bill from 'Kill Bill' - this one was easy.

• the Teenage Vixens from 'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens From Outer-Space' - all they wanted was some teenage lovin' from the students of Mayfield High, but because of conniving Stephanie's jealousy over a Vixen's fling with Mr. Moreli, they had to go on a rampage instead. And by rampage I mean morphing into cats and turning drunken students into papier-mache vegetables.

• Luther from 'The Warriors' - the only villain I know with absolutely no motive or reason for severely fucking things up for everyone.
he just likes doing things like that.

• Heaven and Earth from 'Fearless Hyena 2' - they are two hyper-powered ninja gods who terrorize Jackie Chan and his village for some reason. Mostly they just looked cool.

• the Flying Monkeys from 'The Wizard of Oz' - this is evil in it's purest form. and why I always keep my windows locked at night.

• Orc # 286 from 'Return of the King' - you know, the ugly one with the teeth and the sword. He was pretty evil.

• the evil History Teacher from 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure' - he was going to flunk Bill and Ted if they didn't pass their final project, thus putting the future of Wyld Stallyns in jeopardy.

Sumitted by Mike

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