Saturday, July 14, 2007

70 years of Bill By: Mike Gillis

In honour of Bill Cosby's seventieth birthday (which was yesterday - I was busy) I’ve compiled a modest list of his ten greatest accomplishments. Let's all bask in the warm, hilarious glory that is ‘The Cos’.

Disclaimer: 'Ghost Dad' will not appear on this list.

- The Cosby Show. You simply cannot fuck with The Cosby Show. The first few seasons anyway.

- Picture Pages episode "Animals". You. Will. Laugh. And no one will learn anything. Which is awesome, because this is purportedly an "educational kid's show". Enjoy this one with some drugs; Bill did.

- Leonard Part 6. A movie where Bill tries to stop an evil vegetarian from controlling the world. I hear he accomplishes this using some kind of Magic Meat. Please, please, please, someone help me find this movie.

- Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. You love this.

- Silver Throat: Bill Cosby Sings. Actually contains a song called 'Don'cha Know'. Also, in the running for Best Album Cover Ever.

- Phylicia Rashad. Goddamn.

- Picture Pages episode "Shapes and Colors". Holy wow, he's done it again.

- becoming the first black actor to have a starring role in a dramatic television series with I Spy. Helped pave the way for a crappy Owen Wilson/Eddie Murphy movie.

- when Theo wanted that designer shirt to impress that girl at school but it was too expensive, and Bill, sorry "Cliff", refused to give him the cash to purchase it. Then Cliff made a copy of the shirt for Theo, but it didn't fit properly and Theo was hilariously flustered. No, wait. Denise made the shirt. Nevermind.

- His years spent toiling in the underground Omega Sector of the Jell-O laboratories, developing a new gelatin sensation codenamed "Jell-O Jigglers". Which is just regular Jell-O. In different shapes. Good on ya, Bill.

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