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Here is a brief list of the various Special Powers I have accumulated over the years:
- ability to erase memories (unfortunately this only works on myself and only when alcohol is present)
- unlimited jump kicks
- ability to smoke a cigarette while playing Nintendo and still win
- impervious to: alarm clocks, hot sauce, French
- ability to soar horizontally through the air (only for short bursts and without the ability to land)
- unlimited Simpson's references
- conjure invisible air guitar
- can hide a Canadian quarter in my right nostril
- third degree black belt in making girls feel weird
- ability to drop a "That's what she said" after absolutely any statement made about anything at any time
- advanced barbecue wizardry
- conjure awkward silence
- inability to perform reverse psychology
- spontaneous uncontrollable sneeze attacks
Monday, January 28, 2008
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