Sunday, September 23, 2007

Skinny Bitch - Book Review By: Janessa Lowrey

Uncle Sam’s Vegans Want You!

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The New York Times has Skinny Bitch, by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, ranked as number one on their ‘Paperback Advice’ Best-seller list.

Well then, If the N.Y.T. says it’s so, it must be. As I began to read Skinny Bitch I realized

a) this has nothing to do with aspiring to be very thin

b) this is not a diet book, but rather a lifestyle choice and

c) the authors assume the average overweight American woman uses expletives for every other word and the authors write to put their readers at ease.

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My opinion? Definitely a waste of time (but a quick and easy read = minimal time wasted). My wallet is also $10.00 lighter and I am thrilled it wasn’t only available in hard cover.

Here are my summations of various parts of the book. If this list helps warn you away from the tripe between the covers of Skinny Bitch, then my job is done.

I have grouped the commentaries into four categories:

Overall Tone of the Book

• The title is merely to get your attention - it is not about being ‘skinny’ and give your head a shake if you were actually keen on becoming ‘skinny’

• They refuse to ascribe to the ‘everything in moderation rule’

• I suppose I am not an average American woman because I found the tone both crude and sanguinary, simply dancing behind the guise of ‘humour’

• Great book for overweight masochists who enjoy being belittled with every page turn

• In depth and excessively graphic details of animals tortured (Just to allow us to eat the poor things. Enough here to turn anyone off meat - so that has furthered the authors’ cause)

• PETA loves and cares for all of us (BUT only if you become vegan)

• Overweight people are pretty disgusting

• Meat eaters are moronic

• Ensure you spend thousands of dollars in only-one-in-the-city completely organic stores - so you can be thin but never rich

• If we use enough disturbing graphically written imagery, and puerile phrases you will drop meat altogether

Statistics/Authoritative Statements Bandied About as if They Were Entirely Factual

• Animals are tortured daily to feed us

• Fish probably feel pain

• Weigh scales don’t lie (Hey, sometimes they do not weigh properly (not sure of the speaking part...)

• We all are victims of a political food conspiracy

• If you eat crap, you will look like crap and feel like crap.

• A section on the dangers of diet soda and aspartame (despite being disproved by several scientific studies and the FDA has determined that aspartame is safe.) But who knows with these two groups? Perhaps we’ll give the benefit of the doubt (but ‘real’ facts would have been nice) .

• You are what you eat. (I am one badassed piece of liquorice walking about.)

• No alcohol - someone needs to make up their mind on this one

Facts That are Already Well Known, but Treated as if They Were Just Released.

• Fruit and salad (completely organic) are two things exceptionally good for you

• No white sugar, no white bread, no white pasta

• No dairy

• No caffeine, no coffee

• No cigarettes

• A lot of foods can damage your system over time

• Get lots of exercise

• Not a diet but a lifestyle

General WTF? Moments I Found Myself asking, Despite Having Just Stated I had Nothing in Common With Those Women

• You shouldn't take aspirin for menstrual cramps because your cramps are just the result of your crappy diet. As well, cramps are Nature's way of preparing you for the pain of childbirth. (Could fall under misleading stats as well)

• Some vitamins are necessary to humans and are only available in animal protein, so you'll have to take this as a supplement. What?!- After the slaughter, we’re expected to ingest this?

• The only reason you will get sick is because your diet is insane

• We are ordered to health food speciality stores, including an online health food store who imports from China - I guess the concern about China’s food imports is not an issue for anyone overweight?

• Hello?! Chemicals are chemicals! Processed vegan food can be as bad as your average processed foods.

For a well written diet/ life-style book, read: "The Six-Pack Diet Plan" by Rehan Jalali. Far better than this one.

I started laughing when I found an online editorial regarding Skinny Bitch authors. Remember when Fundamental Christians were pulling their children out of the Public School System because New Agers had infiltrated the system? The New Agers were placing homosexual themed books into libraries, and teachers were teaching the practises of Harry Potter’s witchcraft? Yep - we were going to Hell in a band basket. According to this article, the New Agers are at it again with this book. So I guess there is a little Karma in the world when the Vegan authors are renounced as Pagan. (That’s right, they’re Vegan not Pagan, but who’s going to try and convince the Fundamentalists otherwise? Not me.)

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