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I've just seen this happen a short while ago, at an experimental theatre performance.
I sat in the front row; heard him crack the seal on the bottle; could smell the alcohol. It was all quite real and very disturbing.
Anyhow, I've been doing a lot of thinking, the last few weeks, about what I want to do with my life for the next few years. I've come up with the following observations.
1. Although I like working for newspapers, I'd rather be making my living from the editorial side. Meaning writing and photography would be preferable to advertising design.
2. I crave a lot of the things big cities have to offer, like higher education, variety when shopping, good live music, and desire to live in one.
3. I still have 30 car payments to make, which is a huge financial burden which is always gnawing at me.
4. I also want to travel again at some point, for an extended period, which will require saving up a lot of money.
5. In this small town where I work as a designer and write on the side, I have enormous opportunities. In terms of arts and culture, I can write about anything that happens here. The Yukon does get a fair amount of quality stuff, and as a writer trying to cover it all I have no competition. I doubt it would be the same way in a big city.
6. I'm earning a shitload of money here. More than any other time in my life. And far more than I'd be making if I was working as a reporter.
So when I consider all that, my future is clear as mud. I can either go be a reporter somewhere and be happier in the moment while slowly paying off the car and not hoping to travel again for years. Or I can stay, endure work I don't really care to do for a year or so, pay off the car, go travelling and then come back and be a reporter.
Which will it be?
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
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