Signs by Sashi

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Sometimes people head towards perceived destinations believing that all signs they encounter are pointing them in the right direction.

However, some people don’t really know how to read those signs. They end up interpreting them wrongly, thus mistaking the warning signs for welcome signs.

And when they do reach the end of the journey, they find themselves lost and confused, and with nowhere else to go but back from where they came.

Some of these people make further attempts at this journey, again and again, hoping against hope.

While some never take on the open road again.

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Transformers Rolled Out By Sashi

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In The Beginning…

First came the announcement that Steven Spielberg’s Dreamworks were to be making the live-action movie. Fans rejoiced.

Then the news that the movie was to be directed by Michael Bay. Fans were split, some were happy, remembering movies like Bad Boys and The Rock, while other groaned, remembering The Island and Pearl Harbour.

Then the cast list was revealed, including the most in-demand young actor on the market Shia LeBeouf, the unknown but smokin’ hot Megan Fox, but the name that gave every Transformers fans goose-bumps was that of Peter Cullen, the man who voiced Optimus Prime in the original G1 cartoons and the 1986 animated movie.

Then the teasers, giving little indication of the movie’s storyline. The buzz was slow to build-up initially, being overshadowed by the other “summer blockbusters” Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.

But then those movies came and went, leaving fans underwhelmed. The focus shifted to

Transformers, at which time the final cinematic trailer was released - and what an awesomely cool, well-edited trailer that was…

The hype was now well and truly at its highest.

The Premiere

So finally, I found myself at The Curve’s Cineleisure Damansara yesterday with some friends, for the premiere of the movie.

The fanboys were out in force, wearing Autobots or Decepticons T-shirts, while a handful walked around with their Optimus Prime Voice Changer helmet. Seriously. One of them was a celebrity blogger dude too.

Before the patrons were to be ushered into their respective halls, everyone had to get in line and declare their electronic gadgets such as cellphones, MP3 players and cameras. It didn’t matter whether your cellphone was a basic cheap-ass phone (like mine) that does nothing more than make/receive calls and SMSes. They all still ended up getting tagged and bagged, and I’d have to return later after the movie to collect your stuff.

My friend couldn’t be arsed to do that, so he went and left his phone in his car parked in the basement before returning to the cinema.

After we cleared that hurdle, and after undergoing a quick electronic gadget sweep later (another friend of mine commented that he wouldn’t have been surprised if they subjected us to a cavity search too, the way things were going), we finally entered the hall (THX-enabled too! Woo hoo!) and waited for the movie to begin.

After all the obligatory trailers went by (including the one for Disturbia, starring Shia LeBeouf, which elicited a comment from somewhere behind me that he “already got the VCD last week” - only in Malaysia, people…), the movie we were all waiting for with bated breath finally began.

NOTE: Tread carefully from here onwards, for there be spoilers, arr!

We knew for sure that we were in a hall with some serious fans when they started cheering during all the iconic moments that would appear throughout the movie - the first time we hear Optimus Prime’s voice, the first transformation (including that famous transforming sound, which a friend refers to as “Krik krik kruk krack!”), the first kick-ass robot-on-robot action, the first time we see Megatron’s ugly mug.. ok, so maybe not during that last one.

The Story

Image from www.canmag.com

What story? Ok, if you must know… we start with what seems to be a standard (but rather entertaining and funny) teen flick story, where Shia plays young high-school kid Sam Witwicky looking to buy his first car (and who also has this crush on the smokin’ hot Megan Fox), at which point they come across this old dirty Camaro in a used-car dealership.. oh, you’ve seen the trailer, you know what I’m talking about.

But here’s the thing; Sam doesn’t know it yet, but he happens to possess a very important clue to the whereabouts of a mysterious energy source called the AllSpark, which is sought by both the Autobots and the Decepticons for wildly opposing reasons.

The Decepticons figure this out after hacking into the US Military Defense network (yes, the aliens hack us, instead of us hacking their network ala Independence Day) and soon they begin to zero in on our young reluctant hero.

But wait! The Autobots too have figured this out, and rush to protect Sam and his crush, the smokin’ hot Megan Fox. Therein begins the frantic hunt for the AllSpark, with the Decepticons also closing in on the whereabouts of the frozen Megatron, who was entombed in ice many centuries ago when he came to Earth looking for that energy source. All this culminates in a mega-battle in the city streets, with the outnumbered Autobots relying on teamwork (and some help from their human friends) to fight the all-out destructive power marshalled by the Decepticons.

But look, seriously, the plot is so thin that it’s practically aneroxic. It’s all an excuse to just bring on the metallic bling and the fancy special effects together with all the pyrotechnics and sun-soaked cinematography that Michael Bay just happens to be famous for, to create that unique cocktail known as the mindless summer-blockbuster popcorn flick.

The Cast

If Shia LeBeouf doesn’t win an acting Oscar in his movie career, I’m gonna go postal on the film industry. It’s easy to see why he’s so in demand these days (he’s also slated to appear in the next Indiana Jones movie); the dude’s such a natural on-camera. His whole demeanour and performance is so believable, you WILL forget that he’s supposed to be talking to giant robots that were not really there during filming. Ok, so his acting chops were not fully stretched in this movie, but I’m taking into account some of his past performances that I’ve caught.

Image from www.canmag.com

The smokin’ hot Megan Fox, on the other hand, is here as eye-candy. Sorry, ladies, but I’m not trying to sound like an MCP here; that’s just the truth. But as eye-candies tend to go, she’s certainly high on the list of the most smokin’ hot ones.

More Than Meets The Eye

Now, we all know that the real stars of this movie are the robots. While the fanboys are somewhat uncertain about the transformation undergone by these metallic heroes of yesteryear, one has to admit that sticking to the old-school style of transforming would be pretty silly by modern standards. (Then they’ll have to answer all the weird questions like where does Optimus Prime’s trailer disappear to when he transforms into a robot, or how does a giant robot like Megatron transform into something as small as a handgun??)

But where do I stand on this new makeover for the Transformers? Somewhere in the middle, actually. They look cool as they’re walking about and strutting their stuff. And the transformations are indeed awesome, if only a bit rushed in places. But when these metal giants are duking it out in the city streets, things get so blurry and confusing that I cannot make out which metal bits belong to which robot. The fight choreography is just so MTV, ya know?

And most of the Decepticons look so powerful and menacing - but there just was no personality in them. Starscream never got annoying, and Megatron, despite looking like the winner of the World’s Ugliest Contraption Award, never hit the megalomaniacal heights that is part-and-parcel of his character (although, that’s mostly due to the fact that he appears so late in the movie, thus severely limiting his screen-time). However, you do have Frenzy in there, being both the hacker and comic relief in the film.

But other than that, I found the movie rather enjoyable. Although if I started to think about stuff about the movie and it’s plot and characterizations, I’d find myself feeling a tinge of disappointment creeping in.

Of course, at this point I then realize that this is a mindless summer blockbuster popcorn flick, and hence thinking too deeply about things is strictly a no-no when it comes to watching movies like these.

So remember to check your high-horse at the door, come in with a child’s imagination and sense of wonder, and just maybe you too, like me, would feel goose-bumps all over your body when you hear Optimus Prime’s voice for the first time, and of course, THAT transforming sound: Krik krik kruk krack!

Autobots! Transform, and ROLL OUT!

My verdict: 4 out of 5.

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Withdrawal & Renewal By Sashi

This is Day 2 of my Cutting Down On Coffee experiment. Yesterday, I had a splitting headache, and wasn’t really feeling on top of things (although I believe I managed to mask it pretty well in public). Today, I’ve started the day with no headaches, although mentally I am not revving my engines to the max as yet, but it’s still early hours so fingers and toes kept crossed.

It’s also Day 2 of my personal Drive Safely campaign. I’m now keeping watch on my speedometer to ensure I don’t exceed (by too much) the speed limits. I try to make sure that I always use the turn signals when I’m supposed to, even when there are no other cars or pedestrians within sight. I try to be considerate to motorcyclists and other drivers by giving way sometimes.

It’s Day 3 of my Living Healthy experiment. Been taking some herbal products and working out a bit. Combined with the no-coffee experiment, though, means the results are as yet fuzzy. Again, it’s still early days.

This is also Day 4 of another experiment. Slow going on that front, however. (Experiment soon to be posted)

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Al Gee Bra By: Sashi

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I found this email from a friend in my Inbox today - an “Ooh! This is cool! I’m SURE my friends would love to read this, no matter how many times they might have already seen it, and regardless of how much they hate such spam mail!” email.

Yeah, one of those.

Anyway, here are the contents of said e-mail:

GUESS YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT

Don’t tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway - but your waiter may know!

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute.

Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would “like” to go out to eat.

(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757 …

If you haven’t, add 1756.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number. The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how! Many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are YOUR AGE!

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

Ok, here’s one of those mathemagical formulae that people like to use to say, “Whoa! Check it out! Maths rules! It can predict your age! It can read your mind! It can predict the future! It can change the universe!!”Of course, all that is true (Ask me how! Call now at 1-866-RICH-SUCKA and change your life! Calls will be charged RM500 at all hours) but in this case, it’s just a simple con.

A play with numbers, if you will. Allow me to explain, in mind-numbing detail, how.

First off, you’re asked to pick a single-digit number (more than 1, less than 10). Let’s call this number x.

Then you multiply x by 2.

Result = 2x

Add 5 to it.

Result = 2x + 5

With me so far? Good.

Let’s now multiply the result by 50.

Result = 50(2x + 5) = 100x + 250

You can use a calculator to double-check what I’m stating here, in case you don’t believe me.

Next, we add one of either 2 numbers to the result depending on if you’ve had your birthday this year. I’ve just had mine a couple of months back, so I’m adding 1757. Add 1756 if your birthday is still to come.

Result = 100x + 250 + 1757 = 100x + 2007

Oh wow, what a coincidence! This is year 2007 as well! Well, not really a coincidence, is it?

If you added 1756 instead, you would have had 2006. I’ll explain the minor difference in a bit.

Anyway, moving on….

You’re now asked to subtract your birth year. Let’s say your birth year is y.

Result = 100x + 2007 - y

Now, if you subtract 2007 (this year) from y (your birth year), what do you get? Your age, duh! Let’s say your age is zz.

Thus result would be = 100x + zz

And since x is a single digit number, multiplying it by a 100 would mean the number would look like ‘x00‘. Adding your 2-digit age (unless you’re really old, you centenarian, you!) would result in a 3-digit number looking like xzz… .e.g 525, with x being 5 and zz being 25.

If you had added 1756 to the equation earlier instead of 1757, you would have subtracted your birth year from last year, which would be your age if you hadn’t reached your date of birth this year. Makes sense, innit?

So there you go. Mathemagics demystified. Not that anybody was wondering, I’m sure…

Oh, and that last bit in the e-mail where it says this will only work this year is obviously stupid. To make it work next year, just add 1758 or 1757 in step 5. Duh.

I so need something to do on the weekends……

Will Wheaton on William F***ing Shatner by Sashi

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I’m a Star Trek fan. Not a hard-core Trekkie, mind you - I certainly wouldn’t be the type of guy who would redecorate his apartment to look like the interior of a Starfleet ship, like this guy did.

But I did enjoy the franchise very much. Although if pressed, I’d say I enjoyed ST:TNG way more than the original series and all the other spin-offs since.

Fans of ST:TNG will of course remember Ensign Wesley Crusher. Fans have long been divided over this character - you either hate him, or put up with him. But whatever you may think of the character, there is a general consensus regarding the man (or boy back then) who played him - Will Wheaton,Arguably the geek’s Celebrity Geek.

His book, Just a Geek, is to geekdom what Nick Hornby’s Fever Pitch is to football-fandom.

He is also known these days as one of the blogosphere’s top uber-bloggers, who regularly writes on a variety of topics on a variety of websites, including his own at WWdN.

One recent article, posted on the SuicideGirls website, is titled “William F***ing Shatner, Part 1“. (Don’t worry, the link’s safe for work.)

“Well?” He asked.

Oh no. He’d asked me a question, and I’d missed it.

“Excuse me?” I replied.

“I said, what do you do over there?” he asked. There was a challenge in his voice.

“Oh, uh, well, I’m an acting ensign, and I sometimes pilot the ship.” Maybe he’d be impressed that I’d already logged several hours at the helm of the Enterprise D, all before the age of 16.

“Well, I’d never let a kid come onto my bridge.” He said, and walked away.

Captain James Tiberius Kirk, of the Starship Enterprise 1701, and Enterprise 1701-A, the only person in Starfleet to ever defeat the Kobiyashi Maru, the man behind the Corbomite Maneuver, the man who took the Enterprise to the Genesis planet to return Spock’s katra, the man who I had admired since I was eight years old, was immediately transformed into WILLIAM F***ING SHATNER.

I eagerly await Part 2.

image from wikimedia.org

Six Weird Things About Myself By: Sashi

Six Weird Things About Myself By: Sashi

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RULES: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I keep confusing my left with my right.

When I was but a wee grasshopper, I got my my right hand scarred a little thanks to a combination of some hot cooking oil and irrepressible childish curiosity. Ever since then, I’ve used that mark on my hand to remind me of my right-hand side. This doesn’t happen as much as it did when I was younger, since instinct generally automatically guides me to the right or left as when is necessary, but if I have to consciously identify my right side or left side e.g. if someone asks me to point to the right, or to hold up my left hand, etc, there will always be a moment of hesitation while I quickly glance at my hands to see where the scar is.

2. I’m very wary of being photographed.

No, not because I’m wanted by the cops or Interpol or anything. I can’t even explain it, really. I just really, really, really, hate how I look in pictures. It’s not the looks specifically, it’s just how i appear in them. I especially hate having to wait those eternity-long seconds stuck in a pose while the camera-person is going “Ok, everyone ready? Smile, say cheese, here we go in 1… 2.. oh shoot, forgot the flash, hang on….” I can only hold a fake smile for no more than a second or 2, so by the time the camera takes the picture, what you get is a picture of me looking pissed off while trying to pretend I’m not.

3. When I go to bed, I need to be on the left.

Left, as in not only sleeping on my left side, but also on the left side of the bed. Eventually after I nod off into slumberland, I might shift unconsciously onto my right side or elsewhere, but when I get into bed, I go straight to the left corner. Otherwise, the world will stop turning and we will all be sucked into the horrendous inferno of the sun.

4. I don’t wear watches. Well, not anymore.

And nowadays, with the all-in-one cellphone models, who needs a watch? As a kid, I’ve lost quite a few watches in school or in the bus etc. I once even lost my dad’s expensive watch which he had bought in Singapore and which I had borrowed to use during an exam. That was the last time I ever wore a genuine, brand-name watch. I did wear a knock-off Tag Heuer during my college years, but when that died, I gave up wearing watches altogether. And it doesn’t help that I have small wrists either, I guess…

5. I must wash my feet before I go to sleep. MUST.

I don’t care if I’ve had my feet wrapped in waterproof, fireproof, dust-proof, germ-proof, whatever-proof material for donkey’s years - when I go to bed, my feet MUST be washed. Else, I just cannot fall asleep. Also, cue the horrendous inferno of the sun thing too.

6. I’m a non-believer who wants to believe.

For most people, believing in God is a matter of faith. You either do, or don’t. I can’t do that. I cannot simply believe… I need to know. I’ve tried to believe, really. I don’t actually go around telling people I’m an atheist or agnostic, because truth be told, I’m not really all that proud of it. I completely understand religion’s place in the human psyche, how we all need something to believe in. Most times, I do wish I could believe in an Almighty God who looks after us with paternal love and care. But, I’ve not been able to do that. Perhaps, deep down, I’m afraid that we really are, all of us, quite alone. And that our collective beliefs, in the end, amount to nothing more than wishful thinking. And if so, believing in a higher power would be considered an escape route, a way to pretend that every hardship we suffer, every heartbreak we bear, every pain we embrace, has some meaning behind it.

Ok, that last bit got very rambly. Sorry.

Now I’m supposed to tag 6 people, eh? Time to round up the usual suspects then… (assuming they haven’t done it already).

1. Idlan?

2. Norzu?

3. Ash?

4. Eyeris?

5. Simon?

6. Pick Yin?

Personally, I don’t care whether you guys/gals take it up, although you probably should know that if you don’t do this meme, a pale Oriental kid with jet-black eyes is going to be following you around all day and night for weeks to come…

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